My Living Will

(posted after the death of Elizabeth Edwards, December 7, 2010..She reminds me of the grace in living and in dying.)


To My Children:

I hereby define the borders
The limits at which you must stop and
Let me go.

If my heart doesn’t quicken
With the voices of your children
Let me go.

If my skin doesn’t ease
With the stroke of your hand
Let me go.

If my lips don’t curve
With the smile of recognition
Let me go.

If my eyes don’t tear
With the kiss of your parting
Let me go.

Please don’t
Don’t hold me too tight.

I know
I am with you now
Mixed in the marrow of your bones.

You’ll hear me in an unexpected giggle
That you can’t suppress.

You’ll taste me in the sharp cold of salt water
When you take a playful leap into the bay.

You’ll see me in the pink of morning light
That sinks into the crevices of dark mountain faces.

You’ll feel me in the ruffle of wind on the water
That skitters just beyond the glassy calm.

You’ll smell me in the fatty folds of your babies’ neck
When you snuggle them into bed at night.

Thus, this declaration
Seals my wishes.
My faith, the witness
To whom I promise
To let go.